Say It With A Song
by Red Moon Kree
Summary: A collection of one-shot songfics; not related to one another
1. Introduction

Hello, and welcome to this collection of Teen Titans Songfics, "Say it With a Song".  
  
So far, there are three songfics in this collection.  
  
WINDOW: A tale of Raven, Beast Boy, and Terra in the song, "Several Ways to Die Trying" by Dashboard Confessional.  
  
RESCUE MISSION: A tale of Beast Boy and the rest of the Titans in a twisted world without Starfire in the song, "Wonderwall" by Oasis.  
  
STILL HERE: A tale of friendship between Raven and Cyborg in the song, "Trying" by Lifehouse.  
  
PIECES OF HER: A tale of realized love as Cyborg yearns for Raven in the song, "The Lights Go Out in NYC" by the Ataris.  
  
Enjoy and please review!  
  
Kree 


	2. Window

**The song used is called, "Several Ways to Die Trying", by Dashboard Confessional.**  
  
**Enjoy.**  
  
**Kree**  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
There always seemed to be a window; or at least, it was a thin sheet of transparent glass that separated her from everybody else. Probably the most aggravating thing about that window was that she could be just inches, inches away from something she craved, but instead, she pressed her fingers against the cold glass and could only watch helplessly in the background. Whether she preferred it or not, she was always in isolation, always alone, and always inches away from quenching her heart. Her current situation wasn't any different.  
  
Her breath began to quicken and steam the tinted glass screen as something caught her eye. From her bedroom window, she could see Beast Boy walking hesitantly down the rocks to where Terra sat by the shore: Terra, the new girl; Terra, the new beautiful girl who had walked into everybody's life, but more specifically, Beast Boy's. He had fallen for her instantly the first time the Titans met her in the canyons. Of course, perhaps she was the only one who had noticed that Beast Boy's eyes had practically reshaped themselves into hearts as he stared at the girl with gorgeous, blonde hair. Perhaps she was the only one who really noticed a lot about Beast Boy at all.  
  
But here she was, staring outside the window at her friend and his newfound love right beside the ocean. Even in the safety of her room where nobody could see her, she was much too used to controlling her emotions and keeping them harbored inside. There were many emotions igniting inside of her at the moment, but the expression on her face did not change. There was certainly pain that went along with sorrow. Fury and resentment built up together, and there was jealously.oh most definitely jealousy. But there was mostly regret; regret that started all these emotions in the first place.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Pacific Sun, you should have warned us, it gets so cold here.  
  
And the night can freeze, before you set it on fire.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
She slid down to the ground until she sat right on her feet, her fingers still, pressed against the window. However, a breeze spiraled through the air, forcing her hands to wrap around her arms to protect herself from the cold. But she knew that it wasn't mostly the cold sending the chills down her body. It was the ice in heart that held Raven steadfast to the ground and glued her eyes to the boy she loved and the beautiful girl down below.  
  
No, she didn't love him, what was she thinking? Beast Boy was a friend, and she felt no other kind of affinity towards him other than that. Beast Boy was a close friend, but there was nothing other than that kind of relationship. So, the emotions didn't really make any sense. Why should she be disappointed and angry that Beast Boy likes Terra? Why should she hate and envy Terra? She should be happy that one of her closest friends found somebody he loved!  
  
Her emotions didn't make sense. Then again, there wasn't a time she could remember when her emotions actually did make sense.  
  
No, she didn't love Beast Boy. She turned her head away from the window. Beast Boy was the complete opposite of her. He was lively, funny, always happy and positive, and was a light in life. She was grim, quiet, solitary, sarcastic, and preferred the soothing darkness. There could never be a more obvious oxymoron. She could even remember a time where she thought he didn't like her very much and couldn't even trust her.  
  
No she didn't love Beast Boy.  
  
She couldn't. She didn't do love.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
And our flares go unnoticed.  
  
Diminished, faded just as soon as they are fired.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Who the hell was she kidding? Of course she loved him.though it was hard for her to understand exactly what love was, she knew that she was attached to him. She knew that she loved the way the wind glissaded through his hair. She knew that she loved the way his emerald eyes glittered with life and cheerfulness. She knew that she loved his big and jocular grins that tested her barrier skills every time, trying to convince her to smile back at him. She knew that she loved the way he put his hand on his shoulder with his kind and reassuring words.  
  
But despite these passionate emotions towards him, she could not stop being "Raven". It was who she was, and to stop being over-controlled in her emotions could have disastrous results. Not to mention, it seemed quite silly to burden her hardships on others, especially those she cared about, and her other feelings seemed like a waste of time. Her feelings towards Beast Boy wasn't a hardship, so was it just another waste of time? It certainly seemed like it at the moment, because Beast Boy seemed to love another.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
We are, we are, intrigued. We are, we are, invisible.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Turning her head towards the window, she caught a glimpse of Beast Boy trying to skip a rock. Of course, it landed with a small splash, with no airborne characteristic. Beast Boy picked up another rock and brought it behind him with his hand. As he released it into the air, Raven quickly whispered, "Azareth Metrion Zinthos," to keep the rock bouncing on the water. However, she couldn't exactly tell if it was Terra's Earth moving powers that was helping him, or if it were her own telekinesis.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Oh, how we've shouted, how we've screamed, take notice, take interest, take me with you.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
They looked quite happy together, Raven thought sorrowfully, resting her head against the window. She didn't think Beast Boy had ever smiled as much as he did right now. He could never be this happy if he was with Raven. Terra seemed to be the perfect match for him.and Raven was the perfect opposite. How she wished she could be just like Terra.how she wished she could have brought into the world differently.how she wished she could be down there right now, in Terra's place, right next to Beast Boy.  
  
She and Beast Boy had some good times together, and it really did seem like he loved her at times. After all, even if she didn't laugh at his jokes, he was the one who made her smile the most. Raven would mostly be paired up with Beast Boy during their battles and missions. With Terra here now, things were about to change drastically. She wouldn't be with Beast Boy anymore.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
But all our fears fall on deaf ears.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
What frightened Raven the most was that she might be alone. Robin and Starfire were already getting pretty busy with their relationship and went to the movies, the park, and a lot of other places together. Even Cyborg was hiding a little romance that Raven discovered not too long ago, but promised to keep a secret. Now that Beast Boy and Terra had a little romance as well.that left Raven all alone. She didn't want to have a boyfriend, she concluded, but having one friend with her was more than what she needed.  
  
But who would like dull and sulky Raven? Some thought her boring and if not, thought her to be sarcastic and mean. Others just looked at her depressed state and didn't even want to try. Raven wasn't likable, fun, and she certainly wasn't pretty. There was nothing about her that made her seem special to people. The Titans were the only ones who had taken her in, befriended, and trusted her. But even they had their limits. Nobody could get past her window, but nobody seemed to try anyway.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.  
  
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,  
  
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
She buried her head in her arms, but she did not cry. Sometimes, even when she wanted to cry; even when she wanted to let everything out and express all her sadness, she found that she was trained to her emotionless state. In fact, it had become an involuntary skill. So she pulled her head away from her arms and glanced through the window, gazing at Beast Boy and Terra from afar.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Pacific sun, you should have warned us, these heights are dizzying,  
  
and the climb can kill you long before the fall.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
She stood up, still leaning against the window. Raven was quite high above them, but she never really took a good look at how high she was before. The Titans Tower was certainly an amazing structure, but she never took the time to observe and speculate it. She hardly looked out the window in the first place, keeping the shades down, so she could be in darkness.  
  
Her heartbeat picked up the pace as she watched Beast Boy fall into the water. Her first reaction was "go! Go help him", but she remembered the window that in between her and the only boy she loved. Besides, he got out of the water quickly while Terra seemed to abruptly change in her tone. Raven could tell something more serious was going on by Terra's body movements than a friendly conversation. She jumped to her feet and looked like she was protesting something.what exactly was going on?  
  
But then the mood of their conversation seemed to calm down, and Beast Boy watched and inched closer and closer to her.oh.why wouldn't they just kiss already. Perhaps it would be easier if she saw them now, instead of a time much later. At the moment, she seemed to be prepared for everything, including her heart breaking into millions of pieces. It would hurt a lot more, she figured, if she had to wait and wait until she finally had to confirmation that Beast Boy loved another. Beast Boy loved Terra, not Raven.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
And our trails go unmarked and unmapped and covered  
  
just as soon as they are crossed.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Beast Boy began to head inside, and Terra did too. Now, more than anything, Raven wished that she could have told Beast Boy how she felt about him when she had the chance. Of course, it wasn't as simple as that, because she never admitted to herself that she loved him until just recently. It was much more than too late now, and her heart was full of igniting regret. Why didn't she seize the chance when she had it? Why did she have to put it off, like she had the rest of the time in the world? She could have been with Beast Boy; Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg were always telling her that he had always been quite affectionate of Raven.  
Raven could have been the one with Beast Boy. She could have been the object of his affinity.if only she had told him what he truly meant to her. Something that simple would have changed her current weary and mournful state.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
We are, we are, intriguing. We are, we are, desirable.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
In horror, she placed her fingers to her cheek to feel a small train of liquid sprinting from her irises; she was crying. There was an actual tear on her face. Her emotions had finally escaped her physical barrier and broken through to her eyes. The funny thing was, Raven didn't seem to mind. It was as if a huge hand had been constricting her heart, and finally, it released. She felt an appealing freedom to express every feeling in her heart. What she didn't realize was that she began to bury her face into her arms again, and cry hysterically.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed,  
  
take notice, take interest, take me with you.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
There was a tapping at the window and all of a sudden, Raven caught sight of a large green bird. Beast Boy transformed and sloppily landed on the edge, almost falling backwards to his doom. He leaned against the window and started knocking on it with his hand, his luminous green eyes blooming with sincerity. "Dammit!" she scowled. "What the hell was he doing flying around so late?" She quickly brushed away the tears with one hand and stood up, placing her palm against the glass adjacent to where he stood outside.  
  
"Hey Raven, what's wrong?" he asked, still knocking at class. Seeing his friend cry for the first time certainly struck his heart. "Ray, why were you crying?"  
  
"I wasn't crying," but the gloomy inflection in her voice gave her away.  
  
"You were too!" he protested and banged on the window.  
  
"Don't break the glass." She couldn't believe what she was saying to him. There he, the love of her life, was, clinging onto to the window with his life, and all she could say to him was, "don't break the glass"?  
  
"I won't if you tell me why you were crying!"  
  
"Beast Boy, I wasn't crying," she snapped. "What would give you the idiotic idea that I would display my emotions in public?"  
  
"Well, your bedroom isn't exactly public."  
  
"And even if I was crying in my bedroom, you shouldn't be looking in through my window in the first place!"  
  
"Well I heard you crying!" he explained. "With the sharp senses as a bird, I heard somebody crying when I decided to take a fly. And when I looked in and saw that you were crying.I flew over."  
  
"Well I wasn't crying, so continue on flying." Why did she have to be such a damn hypocrite? Why couldn't she just be kind to him, just for a moment?  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
But all our fears fall on deaf ears.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Did you see me and Terra?" he suddenly asked, his eyes vibrating. Damn his beautiful eyes.it was harder for her to lie when she gazed right into them.  
  
"See you and Terra where?" She played dumb. "When? You're kind of being a tiny bit vague."  
  
"I mean outside, just now."  
  
"Of course not," she lied. "Do you think I waste my time looking out this window in the middle of the night?"  
  
"But do you cry in the middle of the night too?" he whispered softly. Her eyes trailed to the floor, and she could not bear to look at him. Perhaps she would break down crying in front of him if she looked at the boy who would always be separated from her by a thin sheet of glass.  
  
"Beast Boy," she started, "if you think I'm upset that you like Terra, then you're wrong. I'm.happy to the fullest extent of my," she emphasized the word "my", "kind of standards. You guys seemed to be perfect together, and I'm glad that my very good friend has found somebody like that." Raven, you're such a fucking liar. Of course you're not happy, you're miserable. Miserable that Beast Boy loves Terra, instead of you. Miserable that no one could ever love you, because your just an ugly and cold half demon.  
  
"But I am happy for Beast Boy.to my standards." she thought to herself. "I'm not lying about that. I want him to be happy with whomever he loves, even if it's with Terra."  
  
"Hey Beast Boy," Raven finally spoke. "Do you want to come inside? It's probably pretty cold out there, and you might fall. I'll open the window for you if you want."  
  
"Sure, thanks," he blushed and smiled. "Maybe we can talk a little bit more."  
  
"Yeah right," she rolled her eyes but she lifted up the window and helped him inside. She wished that people could come through her window in a simple manner, kind of like this. Of course, her life was a little bit more complicated than that. After all, she was Raven.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.  
  
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,  
  
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
**Hope you guys enjoyed it!**  
  
**Plz review!**  
  
**Kree.** 


	3. Rescue Mission

**Well, the people who did read my first songfic seemed to like it a lot, so I guess I'll give it another shot and write some more ^,^. Thank you to the people who reviewed "Window", because hearing your comments really made my day.**  
  
**The song used in this songfic is called, "Wonderwall", by Oasis.**  
  
**This songfic takes place during the time that Starfire had jumped into the altered future in "How Long Is Forever?" This is in Beast Boy's perspective, and happens ten years later after Starfire disappeared after Warp.**  
  
**Enjoy!**  
  
**Kree**  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Ever since the day Starfire left, I think we've all been losing our minds. Some of us, not as quickly as others, but eventually, we ended up in an identical situation; alone. It took Robin exactly four days. After four days, he left the Titans Tower in search of every villain the Titans had ever faced. During the next two weeks, the newspaper headlines were flooded with grotesque pictures of their corpses, with details of their brutal and bloody murders. Even Slade fell victim to Robin's delirious homicide spree and was mercilessly slaughtered. However, Robin did realize the terrible things he committed, and through himself into a long interval of guilt. We never heard of him again after that.  
  
It took Raven a month before she left the Tower. I begged her from the moment she decided to leave from the moment she disappeared into a cloud of blackness. Starfire's leave had affected her greatly, even though she never chose to show it. Nothing seemed to change Raven.at all. After Robin left and drove himself crazy in his own mournful pain, perhaps Raven did the same. She just handled it in a different way than Robin did. She left quietly, and found a room in an abandoned building. She's been in there ever since.  
  
I came to visit her every single day. Initially, she responded to me when I talked to her. They were mostly short answers, and not much to carry on a conversation with, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be with the girl I loved as much as I could, because she wasn't at home anymore. Most of the time, she didn't even turn around to face me in the large white room, but I stood there for hours anyway. As the months passed by, she refused to say a word. That didn't stop me from coming to see her. That didn't stop me from loving her a little bit more each and every day.  
  
Five years passed, and during that time, Cyborg and I tried continuing the Titans. We stopped some burglaries and tiny murder and massacre schemes here and there, but for the most part, it was pretty quiet. The very few overconfident and powerful bad guys we rose to the occasion to fight against, we failed. A team of two was nothing to the team of five we used to be. After awhile, we stopped the whole hero shenanigan and stayed in the Titans Tower.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Today is gonna be the day  
  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
  
By now you should've somehow  
  
Realized what you gotta do  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do about you now  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I came to visit Raven one day, longing to see her beautiful face one more time. I don't think she really ever had an idea of how gorgeous she really was with her silky lilac hair and her dark eyes full of mystery. To this day, I wish I could have told her back when the Titans were still together how stunning she was. Of course, being Raven, she would obviously deny it, but at least she would still know how I felt. Anyway, for the past five years, I had kept my distance when I talked to her, but after an hour, I walked up to her, placing my hand on her shoulder.  
  
I felt a tremble jolt from the spot that I had touched her all the way through the rest of her blood. For the first time, she turned her head and looked up at me I don't think I will ever forget the look in her eyes; the melancholy darkness that had suddenly lit up with surprise, mixed with fear and adrenaline.  
  
"Beast Boy." It was so good to hear her say my name again. "Beast Boy, what are you doing?"  
  
I traced my fingers along her soft cheek, and smiled, my eyes blurring with tears. Even so, I could see her lovely face with much clarity. And then I said it; I said the very words I had wanted to say for years and years. Finally, I could hold them back no longer. I had to tell her how I felt about the most incredible girl I'd ever known in my life. "Raven, I love you," I whispered, placing my lips on hers. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to my chest. I could feel her heart beating against my chest as she stood there in a trance. After a few seconds, she pressed her lips against mine, returning my affinity with passion. I pushed off her hood, so I could run my fingers through her hair but then all of a sudden she pushed me away with such an incredible force. She slammed me against the wall ten feet away with just an arm.  
  
"Beast Boy, I don't want to see you anymore," she spoke in a monotonous tone.  
  
"W-What?" I stammered. I didn't comprehend anything. She had just kissed me back, she had used her mysterious ways to tell him that she loved him in the same way he loved her. And now, she was telling him that she didn't want to see him anymore.  
  
"Go home. Don't come here anymore. I don't want to see you anymore."  
  
I winced. "Well, you've only actually seen me once with your own eyes in five years."  
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" a demonic voice roared. "GO HOME AND NEVER COME BACK TO THIS PLACE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"  
  
I don't remember much about what happened after that. I remember opening the door, and looking back at her, one last time, before I closed the door behind me. I remember walking home, trudging in the snow that blanketed the ground with tears in my eyes. I remember coming home into the Titans Tower, going up into Raven's old bedroom and crying there for a long, long time.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Backbeat the word was on the street  
  
That the fire in your heart is out  
  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
  
But you never really had a doubt  
  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
  
The way I do about you now  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Six months later, I asked Cyborg if he could do me a favor; I didn't have the heart to face Raven again, in fear that I might hurt her, or make things worse for her. I asked Cyborg if he could check up on Raven for me, to see if she was all right. Actually, that's a pretty stupid thing for me to say. Of course she wasn't all right; I guess, as morbid as it sounds, I wanted to know if she was at least alive and "okay" for the most part. Sometimes, I wondered why I had to be in love with a girl so dark, a girl so cold, a girl so mysterious.but now, someone I understood one hundred percent.  
  
I nearly jumped on Cyborg when he came back. I had been waiting outside the Tower since he left to see Raven, and as soon I saw him coming back in the distance, I sprinted over to him as fast as I could. I didn't even bother to transform into a quicker animal, though I think I got there pretty quickly in the first place.  
  
"Hey man," Cyborg started sadly, "I don't think there's really much to tell."  
  
"Come on, Cy. Tell me what happened!" I exclaimed. I had to know about her. I had to know how Raven was.  
  
Cyborg sighed, his eyes trailing the floor. Could it really be that bad? I prayed that it wasn't, picturing Raven all alone in that white prison. "She didn't say anything when I tried to talk to her. She just stood in the middle of the room, her back turned. All I saw was her white cape--"  
  
"Wait, her white cape?" I interrupted. "She was wearing a white cape?"  
  
"Yeah," Cyborg nodded, "that means all her emotions are joined together, right?"  
  
"I-I think," I shrugged, barely listening. What did that mean? Had she joined her selves together in her solitude? Was she cleansed of her so- called evil? How long had she been wearing a white cape? Or had she stopped trying, stop fighting her solitude? I thanked Cyborg, but I wished I could have shown more gratitude. He was the only friend I had with me, and the only one who had stuck with me. I wish I could have done the same for him.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
  
There are many things that I would  
  
Like to say to you  
  
I don't know how  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
A week later, I couldn't stand Raven's room anymore. I had slept in there every night since Raven left the Titans Tower. Being in there had meant everything to me; I could smell her, feel her, and sometimes, I even saw her in that room. It was the closest to Raven I could ever get to her, by staying in that room, I could hold onto her more easily. I could pretend that she hadn't left me; that the Teen Titans were still together. I could pretend that when I woke up, I could cook some good ole tofu eggs and pancakes, upholding my best friends' teasing and taunting about my diet. I could offer her breakfast and she'd put me down, drinking her usual herbal tea. I could pretend that I was fourteen again, with her, and the rest of my friends. Sometimes, playing this pretend game hurt more than the truth itself. Or maybe it was that when I played this game, the truth would hit me harder.  
  
I tried sleeping in my room, but I had no luck; I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. I tried every room in the house, trying to make myself comfortable, and fall into a slumber; no such luck either. Then the entire Titans Tower began to haunt me and torment me with its myriads of memories of laughter and smiles. It began to taunt me of the friendship five friends used to share years and years ago. After a few days, I made my decision; I would leave the Titans Tower.  
  
To this day, I scream at myself for leaving Cyborg. For all these years, he never left my side and been there for me like a true friend. For all these years, when everyone else had taken leave, he stayed with me, and now, I was leaving him. I would leave him, like Starfire, like Robin, and like Raven. Sometimes, I think out of all of us, Cyborg was the one who was cheated out of his life the most. On top of that, I contributed to it.  
  
But our roads separated, and while I went another way, Cyborg went the other. I knew perfectly well that no one would take me in, so I joined the most lowly place in the city; the circus's freak show.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Because maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after all  
  
You're my wonderwall.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Yeah, I was a freak, so what? At that point, nothing really mattered to me. The only person who could have saved me was Raven, but she need to be rescued before anything at all; and I wasn't capable of being a fairy tale prince. I met a man by the name of Vanvel Gardener who hired me for my shapeshifting abilities. So I became the "Amazing One Man Circus", transforming into different animals for the less-admiring public. I stayed in a cage, so the people outside couldn't hurt me more than I already had been. I stayed in the cage, with no desire in my heart to make my life any better.  
  
I could not save myself, and no one could certainly save me.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Today was gonna be the day  
  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
  
By now you should've somehow  
  
Realized what you're not to do  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do  
  
About you now  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
The lack of exercise got to me, and I gained quite a lot of weight. The small caravan stunted my growth, and though I was barely twenty-four, I was already starting to lose hair. Every day I seemed to get worse and worse, but what surprises me the most was that I stayed alive anyway. I should have died after all I had been through, but I was still alive.  
  
For some reason, every day, I found myself hoping that I would see Raven walking by. I don't know how that hope sprouted in the middle of a unfertile heart, but it did. More than anything, I wanted to see Raven again. I didn't want to see her as another hallucination or in another dream, but I wanted to see the real exquisite Raven again. Had that silly thought kept me alive for another few years? Had that impossible desire kept me fighting death and made me look forward to waking up every day?  
  
Well that was kind of stupid then. I would never see her again. Death would end my suffering a lot more quickly than waiting the rest of my life to be disappointed.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
And all the roads that lead to you were winding  
  
And all the lights that light the way are blinding  
  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
  
I don't know how  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Heh, I was beginning to sound pretty depressing.who would have thought that the light-hearted joker of the Teen Titans, was falling into a solitary dejection? I wondered if Raven was feeling the same way as I did now: alone and hopeless.  
  
Did she really love me? I remember the kiss as if I were still holding in her in my arms right at this moment. After all, she did return the kiss and I remember shivering to the touch of her cold fingers dancing along my neck. After all, she did look at me with those glimmering eyes filled with a hope I had never seen in her. After all, she did submit to my arms that embraced her, fitting her body perfectly into mine. During that short moment, I was so convinced that she loved me the way I loved her. I really don't know why we kept it a secret for such a long time, but I wish that I confessed to her years ago. Maybe she wouldn't have left the Titans Tower. Maybe we would have still been together after all these years. Maybe the both of us could have been happy together.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I said maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after all  
  
You're my wonderwall  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
There are so many "maybe"s, but I don't think there has ever been anything "for sure" in my life. Maybe it was the same thing with Raven.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I said maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
  
And after an  
  
You're my wonderwall  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I guess the both of us were the same. Sure, it didn't seem like it years ago when I had a light-hearted personality and she had a recognizable dark attitude. I guess from the outside looking in, we were a pair of opposites. Only the both of us could ever know how much the same we really were. And maybe she's in her room, thinking about how much she needs me, in the same way that I really need her with me now. Maybe I can save her.maybe she can save me..  
  
Just maybe.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Said maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
**Can't really tell if I did a good job with this one.but I guess it's all right. It could be better, but oh well.I'm being a lazy ass right now, and hopefully, I'll make it better later.**  
  
**Hope you enjoyed it anyway.**  
  
**Plz review!**  
  
**Kree** 


	4. Still Here

This isn't exactly a romance song-fic, to me, it's a friendship fic, but readers are free to interpret as they please. , Unlike the other two I did, this doesn't exactly take place in a specific episode, but it does take place after Terra comes along and obviously before she betrays them all.  
  
This song is called by "Trying", by Lifehouse.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Kree  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
The roof never failed to provide her a place of security and comfort. Even if the rest of her friends were playing volleyball in the background, slamming balls into the air that nearly knocked off her head, she could sit above the edge of the Titans Tower building in complete meditation. Lately, life at the Titans Tower was hectic, but life at home usually was. Maybe it was a little more hectic since Terra came back as heart-wrenching emotions and tangled thoughts twisted the normally cleared passages in her mind. Whatever the reason, she found herself coming outside on the roof a lot more often, and this was no exception.  
  
She had tried to mediate near the windows in the living room, but a football game between Terra, Cyborg, and Beast Boy had forced her to retreat to the tranquility of the outdoors. In a way, she didn't really mind coming outside... it was a breathtaking sight above the ocean, foaming with snowflake-like bubbles and mist. The sun was embracing the horizon in a spectacle of reds and oranges and a purple cloud began to stretch across the sky. Yes, it was quite beautiful outside, but she wished that she wasn't so bothered with Terra being back and all...  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Could you let down your hair be transparent for awhile  
  
just a little while  
  
to see if your human after all  
  
honesty is a hard attribute to find  
  
when we all want to seem like  
  
we've got it all figured out   
  
well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue  
  
I don't have all the answers  
  
ain't gonna pretend like I do  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Hey Ray, why ya up here all alone?" A friendly voice called out from behind her. She didn't have to turn around to see that it was Cyborg, approaching her from the entrance of the tower. He might have been far away, but his voice was strong and loud, so he could have been two feet away and she wouldn't be able to tell the difference. He walked up to her, sitting beside her on the ledge.  
  
"When I meditate, Cyborg, I usually do it all alone. This time is no different," she replied bluntly, still facing the ocean and closing her eyes.  
  
"Well yeah, I know that," he rolled his eyes, "but how come you won't meditate in the living room where everyone else is?"  
  
"If you haven't noticed, your football feud was devastating my concentration." For once, she had gotten hit in the head of the football by Terra's throw.  
  
"But that never bothered you before," Cyborg chuckled, "and besides, we've stopped. Why don't you come inside now?"  
  
"It's quite nice out here, thank you very much."  
  
"You got a point there, but are you still gonna tell me what's up?"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Just trying  
  
to find my way  
  
trying  
  
to find my way the best that I know how  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
She opened her eyes and blinked once. Her violet eyes were still focused on the bleeding sun, but he could tell that the question was playing with her mind. "Do I ever tell any of you what's up?"  
  
"Sure you do, like the time when--"  
  
"Cyborg, if you haven't noticed, there is nothing wrong with me."  
  
"Well you look a little emotionally disturbed," he crossed his arms.  
  
She blinked again and turned her head towards him. "And you don't look so aerodynamic, if you know what I mean," she replied acidly.  
  
"Aw, but you wouldn't push me off the building without diving down to catch me," he mused.  
  
"Watch me."  
  
He smirked, his brown eye twinkling as he too, looked towards the dying sky. Her heart relaxed a little bit, some of the tension disappearing, but not much of it. Closing her eyes, a vision instantly came upon her, blinding her mind. She suddenly cried out, her eyes flashing open with red light, releasing a huge breath of air. Panting wildly, she felt Cyborg's robotic hand lightly grasp her shoulder.  
  
"Raven, what happened?" He asked instantly, his voice full of sincerity. "Raven, are you okay?"  
  
She quickly shook it off and then looked towards the face of her worried friend. "I'm fine." Her voice was a little shaky and was not doing a good job of concealing its lies. "I-I just saw something. That's all."  
  
"Oh?" Cyborg cocked an eyebrow. "And what exactly did you see?"  
  
She swallowed before answering him and then looked towards the sea. "Slade," she paused, her voice monotonous as ever. "Terra. I saw Slade and Terra. I saw a uniform, but I don't know who it belonged to..."  
  
"Raven, you don't think..." Cyborg's voice sounded weary and graved as he trailed off into nothingness.  
  
"Let's hope I'm wrong...even though I'm usually not."  
  
"Do you trust her?"  
  
"Of course I do. Do I trust my visions? Of course...so where am I going wrong?" She pushed a strand of her orchid hair to the side of her face. Her tresses swayed gently with the wind, frustrating her path of viewing.  
  
"Well, maybe something else is bothering you," Cyborg started. "Maybe you're a little jealous of Terra."  
  
"And why would I be jealous of Terra?"  
  
"Well, you do like Beast Boy."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say  
  
but I'm working on it  
  
maybe I'll master this art form someday  
  
if I quote all the lines off the top of my head  
  
would you believe  
  
that I fully understand all these things I've read  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"What was that?" Raven questioned slowly, staring at him intensely. Her heartbeat was stumbling again, running away with the breeze that brushed past her cheeks. Physically, she showed no disorder in her orthodox, emotionless state, but Cyborg flew up into the air with a gust of black energy.  
  
"Hey, you mind putting me down?" Cyborg yelled, floating from side to side vigorously.  
  
"Sorry," she lowered her voice, quickly looking away as she levitated him down. She'd let her powers get out of control! And because of her emotions! She could feel Cyborg's Shadow overtake her as he stood right behind her. "Listen, it's not what it looks like," she tried to make an excuse for herself.  
  
"Uh huh," Cyborg mused. "Whatever you say, Ray..."  
  
"I do not like Beast Boy, Cyborg," she grit her teeth and glared at him. "We're just friends, just as we are friends as well."  
  
"You both like each other...well..." Cyborg paused, "Beast Boy isn't that open to liking you anymore because he has Terra around."  
  
"Cyborg, that's ridiculous. You know very well that the both of us do not like each other," Raven crossed her arms.  
  
"Come on, Ray, we're friends. You can tell me the truth."  
  
"And the truth is I couldn't be happier that the bastard finally found someone he loves and who loves him," she spun around as another burst of black energy shot Cyborg up into the air and back onto the roof.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I'm just trying  
  
to find my way  
  
trying  
  
to find my way  
  
trying  
  
to find my way the best that I know how  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Jeez, would you stop doing?" Cyborg moaned from his twisted position on the ground.  
  
"I don't know what's wrong with me right now," she stared at the palms of her hands, the black energy jumping from one hand to the other. "I don't know why my powers are going out of control."  
  
"Maybe it's because you love Beast Boy, and you're too afraid to admit it," he put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Don't even say things like that, Cyborg!" She yelled furiously. "You know what would happen to my emotions if I were in love! You know how uncontrollable my powers could be! You know that I could hurt my friends and anybody else around me..."  
  
"But you do love him, and it's the truth," he said softly, looking straight into her eyes. She swallowed hard, trying hard to keep the tears from escaping her eyes. "I can see it in the way you look at him. I can see that he loves you in the way that he looks at you. I can see it when he tries so desperately to make you laugh and smile and tries to make you his sorry excuse for a breakfast. He loved you, Raven, and he probably still does. If it weren't for Terra..."  
  
"Well then we wouldn't be having this conversation now, would we?" Raven interrupted with a sharp voice. "I'm going to my room."  
  
"Don't leave, Raven!" Cyborg exclaimed. "Please, just tell me what's bothering you. You're too good of a friend for me to leave you all alone in your misery like this."  
  
"If I needed your help, I certainly wouldn't deserve it," she continued walking to the door.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but  
  
even if it takes my whole life  
  
to get to where I need to be  
  
and if I should fall to the bottom of the end  
  
I'll be one step back to you and  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Would you quit running away?" Cyborg sprinted in front of the door, blocking her entrance to the Titans Tower. "Raven, we've got to talk."  
  
"What's there to talk about?" she thrust her arms up into the air. "I want to go inside! Listen, I love Beast Boy, okay? You happy? Will you let me go into the fucking building now?"  
  
"Nope," Cyborg shook his head, but his hard eyes softened as he watched Raven fall to the ground on her knees. She was breaking down in front of him...he couldn't tell whether or not it was acting, but the lightpost beside him did bend over, contorted in a twisted position. She wasn't crying, but the visage on her face could have given false tears away.  
  
"I hate this," she murmured. "I hate being swayed by emotions. I hate everything about these stupid emotions. What's the point of love? It's so incredibly stupid."  
  
"I know that's not how you really feel," Cyborg knelt down beside her. "There were times when you were in love, you felt like you were the happiest person on Earth. There were times with Beast Boy that made you smile, and hell, maybe you almost laughed," he cleared his throat. "Now, I can't believe I'm saying this, but "it is better to have loved then to have never loved at all"."  
  
"And could you explain that?"  
  
"Only that a human being needs to love someone or something in his or her life, in order to lead a complete one."  
  
"And does the fact that I am half demon ring a bell?" she raised an eyebrow.  
  
"But you are half human, just like me, and that doesn't make us any less eligible," he smiled putting his arm around her. "Even if Beast Boy is with Terra now, it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you. It doesn't mean that he hates you or doesn't want to see you anymore. It just means that he loves someone else along with his first one. He's still your friend. No other girl could ever change that." The both of them looked into each other's eyes as Cyborg said, "Raven, all of us...we're still here for you. We're your friends. Whenever you need us, we'll come running to your side, you do know that, right?"  
  
Raven gave him a small smile, the first one he had seen since he was up here. "Of course I know that, thanks to you. Cyborg, you're like a brother to me."  
  
"And the same for me, I mean...as in you're like a sister to me...because you're not a guy..."  
  
Raven sniggered as she looked into the evening sky, he helped her to her feet as they approached the door. "Thanks, Cyborg. You were always there for me when I needed it."  
  
"And I'm still here. Still here, and always will be."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
trying  
  
to find my way  
  
trying  
  
to find my way  
  
I'm trying  
  
to find my way  
  
trying  
  
to find my way.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
It's a little bit short, but I'm pleased at what I got in the end. ,  
  
Please review!  
  
Kree 


	5. Pieces of Her

Taking a slight intermission from my fiction piece to write a songfic...haven't written one in awhile and I kinda wanted to get one up before the third season starts up...can't wait till the Raven episode with that wizard in her book. , The "betrothed" episode seems interesting as well. Lots of new inspiration for those episodes!  
  
This one is an official Cyborg/Raven pairing. The last songfic wasn't, but this one certainly is. The song used is, "The Lights Went Out in NYC" by the Ataris.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Kree  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I have to admit that I've met my share of girls before. Way back, when I wasn't Cyborg, when I was Vic Stone, the amazing athlete on his clear-cut way to a future of promising standards, I had girls all over me. There were all kinds of girls, some of them having a nice personality and an astonishing appearance. I could pick any beautiful girl I wanted and have a terrific, long-lasting relationship. I was extremely lucky to have all that I did.  
  
I used to resent having this body, but that was in the beginning, when I lost my popularity and all the friends that I thought were loyal to me. Losing the ability to compete in the orthodox athletic activities killed me as well. I thought to myself that I wish I had died in that accident instead of having this horrible piece of tin making up more than half of my body. Of course, this all changed after I gave up being Vic Stone and accepted my new identity as "Cyborg". Meeting Robin and joining the Teen Titans was almost the best thing that ever happened to me. Meeting Raven was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
The lights are out in the city tonight  
  
So close your eyes, gaze up at the heavens  
  
And see if you can point me out  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Fifty... sixty... seventy... eighty miles per hour. I've always loved speed. I drove my baby through the empty and devoid highway to race away from the emotions that were clouding my head. The consequences of crashing didn't seem to outweigh the consequences of these overwhelming feelings for the strangest girl I have ever known. So I drove my baby faster and faster down the road in a futile attempt to escape.  
  
If I had still been Vic Stone, I would have never noticed a girl like Raven. Raven was quiet, dark, and quite emotionless, because of her dangerous power. Vic Stone (pardon the third person speaking) was the type of guy who loved partying and girls who were loud, light-hearted, and careless. There were plenty of girls like that who were stunning and hot and would die to hook up with Vic Stone. But me...well, I had a taste of rejection. A taste of loneliness and desperation. And as Cyborg...I gained humility. With that, I saw past everything Raven stood for on the outside. Maybe that's why we became friends so fast.  
  
It's hard to believe that we finished building this car...my baby...only two days ago. After Overload destroyed my baby so that only its computer chip remained, Raven helped me build her back again. It took a daily effort for about a month and she was there with me, every single day, putting up with the grease and the paint and all the labor. The first time I built this car, I put my heart and soul in it. Perhaps this time, the two of us but ourselves into this car.  
  
Maybe that's why I'm driving it now...because Raven put herself into it, sort of how she put herself into me.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
If I could have one wish tonight  
  
I'd wish upon a satellite  
  
To bring me back to you  
  
We spend our whole lives searching for  
  
All the things we think we want  
  
And never really knowing what we have  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
A month ago, as Raven and I chased Gizmo, the nerdy little bug-eyed creep who stole my car, in the red convertible we borrowed (yes, we BORROWED) from a couple of punks, Raven levitated myself and the car. As we sat on the curb not too long before this car chase, she explained that when she used her powers to move things, she had to put a little bit of herself in the object (or for my case, the person) she was trying to move. I wish I hadn't of none that. Maybe it would have been easier to cope with all of this...  
  
Yes, she levitated me and put a little of herself in me. Now I can't get her out. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, she's always in my head. Her gorgeous face with strands of her lavender hair falling beside her cheek...the gleam in her violet eyes when she looks at me...her slender body encased in her dark blue cape...yes...she was always there. She was so deep inside me and I could not get her out. We were always good friends, even before the Overload incident, but now, I was in love with her. And now, she was all that I could think about.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
So many paths that we can take  
  
To bring us to our destiny  
  
Gaze up at the heavens  
  
And see if you can point me out  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Ever since we finished the car, we hadn't been seeing each other half as much as we did in the past month. I took her out on a drive as soon as the car had been finished, but other than that, she retreated to her books and her lonely meditations. It's as if she doesn't want us to know that she exists in this house. Even though it's been only two days since we've last had a conversation, it seems like it's been a year since I've last talked to her. I don't know why I think that she's been avoiding me when this is the way she usually lives. She keeps her own company and likes to be alone.  
  
"Damn!" I swear aloud as the smoothie beside me falls into my lap. Instantaneously, the gadgets and gizmos in my baby begin cleaning the mess off my last as my eyes suddenly fall on a photograph on my windshield.  
  
Yep, they were my best friends, the Teen Titans. This photo showed the people who meant the absolute most to me. And there was Raven, perfectly visible, but nevertheless, without a smile. She never smiled in photographs. There were plenty of times where he managed to make her smile, but she would never, ever curl her lips in front of a camera. I wonder if anyone had ever been allowed to capture a moment of her happiness in a single picture.  
  
I know that it was rare a time she could ever smile. Her powers prohibited her from showing much emotion because the objects around her would start levitating in vigorous movements. So in some sense, it was dangerous for her to express the way she felt. She always held an air of monotony with an emotionless expression plastered on her face. I wonder why she deserved such a curse...  
  
More than anything I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to please her, to show her that I was there for her.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
If I could have one wish tonight  
  
I'd wish upon a satellite  
  
To bring me back to you  
  
We spend our whole lives searching for  
  
All the things we think we want  
  
And never really knowing what we have  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I used to watch her meditate up on the roof in the evening, or sometimes, deep in the middle of the night. I hid behind the door, leading to the rooftop, or sometimes I would sneak a little farther in to watch her. I think she knew that I was there, watching her, but she never said anything or shooed me away. But sometimes, as I crept up the stairs and cracked open the door, she wouldn't be meditating; instead, she was just sitting there on the edge, gazing up into the sky.  
  
And that's when I saw her eyes; the only part of her that could be allowed to show emotions. And in her eyes, I saw something that I never noticed before: loneliness. There she sat on the ledge of the roof with a yearning look in her eyes, looking completely lonely.  
  
There are so many things she put into me when she levitated me that day. So many pieces, so many feelings that have rooted deep into my soul. Sometimes, I'm happy that she did put pieces of herself into me. It helps me to understand her a lot more and be a better friend to her when she needs a shoulder to lean on. Other times...well...now...I just wonder why I have to be hopelessly in love with the most extraordinary girl I have ever known.  
  
Does she know that she's extraordinary? It seems like she doesn't...it seems like she thinks she's the most unlikable person on Earth. I wish she knew how amazing she is. I wish she knew how much I care about her, and how much the others care about her as well. I wish she knew how I really felt and yeah, I guess I wish that she would feel the same way about me as I did about her-  
  
I wish for so many things.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Be careful what you wish for  
  
These stars are fading out.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I wish I had all of her instead of all these pieces of her she put into me.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Eh, well this isn't one of my best ones. It's pretty short, too. Well, I just had to get that out of me anyway. I really wanted to write about that episode, "Car Trouble", so now that I have some time in the summer, I figured I'd get it out of the way now.  
  
Hope you enjoyed it anyway.   
  
Kree 


End file.
